


No Time To Die

by deltachye



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst, Gift Fic, One Shot, Other, Reader-Insert, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23486671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltachye/pseuds/deltachye
Summary: [reader x keiji akaashi]Just goes to showThat the blood you bleedIs just the blood you owe[dw]
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69
Collections: Gift Fics





	No Time To Die

**Author's Note:**

> based off of "no time to die" - billie eilish

****

**I should have known.**  
The bed remains warm long after he leaves.

You don’t know where he goes, and if you were a bit more courageous, you’d ask. But you worry. What if he tells you something that you don’t want to hear? Worse; what if he lies to you outright? So, quietly, you keep your eyes shut as he slips out of the bed, footsteps silent on the ground.

Your fingers trail the remnants of your lover’s essence unconsciously. It’s hard to catch, but he’s there; a soft, ghostly smell you can’t place. It’s like swaying linen in the spring sun. Frost shards in the dead of winter nights. It doesn’t matter if you clutch onto the sheet, struggling to hang on—in no time at all, it all fades, and you are left hopelessly alone.

It was a simple set up. You were the baker; he was the attractive book store worker. He was new to town, so you showed him around. One thing led to another, and now you’re madly in love with him, and you’re… something to him, you hope.

You wonder if he’s having an affair. It’s the only probable outcome, isn’t it? Because in the morning when you rouse yourself out of a restless sleep, he’s back, like nothing had ever happened at all. And if you mention something, he’ll steer the conversation until you’re pinned underneath him with his lips slanted over your mouth wondering _did I even remember to ask?_ You’re too tired to question it. Today’s no different.

“Good morning, my love.”

“Hm.” You nuzzle into the heat of his wide, broad palm. Maybe he is seeing somebody else. For now, at least, you’ll just have to be content with these moments, forgetting the ones you spend alone. His hand slides down your arm and up your side, tracing curves, bringing chills that radiate to your core. There’s nothing you can do but lean into him. It’s pathetic of you, you know. But you can’t bear to lose even the slim trace of body heat you get, so… you stay quiet.

 **We were a pair  
But I saw you there  
Too much to bear**  
You had been right all along to not want to know.

It wasn’t on purpose. But you woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, realizing that maybe you had forgotten to shut off the stove at work after close. What if the place burnt down? You glance over—empty bed—and hastily rose to your feet.

Even if he _had_ been home, you wouldn’t have asked him to come with you, letting him sleep. Seiya always seems exhausted, despite his attentiveness. He’s got an innate ability to fall asleep anywhere. You tease him to be the type to end up in Kyushu before waking up on the train. In any case, you pretend to be unbothered by his absence and slip on a jacket, hurrying outside.

No smoke, no fire. It had just been a bad feeling and nothing more. In relief, you took your time walking home instead of the frenzied sprint from earlier. In the dead of night, things seemed peaceful, but also eerie. An owl’s hoot made you jump. You had best hurry home before you ran into trouble.

“[Name].”

Caught off guard, the scream sticks in your throat as you whirl around to face him. Seiya stares at you, pale in the moonlight. His dark hair looks damp with sweat and he’s clad in dark clothes you don’t remember seeing in the closet.

“God, you scared me.” You take your hand off your heart which continues to thump angrily.

“What are you doing out here?” he asks you, lowly and urgently. His tone with you is usually gentle, though it’s often laden with mischief. That part of him is just as lost as your bedwarmer at night. He reached out and grips your wrist, sharply enough for a flash of pain to cross your face.

“Ow—Seiya, let go!”

He does, but not without a tendon jumping in his jaw. You rubbed your hand, guarding it close to your chest, suddenly wary of him.

“I was just checking if I left the stove on at work... but what about you? Why are _you_ out here?”

“I had business. I told you that most of my work happens at night.”

“Yes, but you could just tell m…!” You’re upset enough to let your temper escape you, but when your eyes scan his lithe frame, they catch on a dark smudge at his collar. Thoughtlessly you reached out to touch it. Red stained your fingertips. Lipstick? He jumped back, shocked, and your stomach pits. For once, he has a scent, and it’s bitter.

 **You were my life, but life is far away from fair**  
He slept on the couch that night and was gone by the time it was late enough to be considered morning.

Ever since the beginning he’d always been mysterious. It was part of his charm and one of the reasons you were so powerfully drawn to him. He was kind, but always softly so. He never raised his voice, but he was passionate in other ways. He was smart. Beautiful. Always knew the right thing to say; always knew you better than you knew yourself.

You sigh as you do the laundry, irritable. His white button up rests on top of the hamper. You can still smell traces of his shampoo in the washroom, the air humid from a shower. It makes you miss him dearly, even after all that.

“I shouldn’t have ignored him,” you muttered to yourself regretfully. Your fingers run over the red smear—but, upon closer inspection, it’s blackened and crumbles. A victim of make-up stains yourself, you’re pretty sure that wax doesn’t harden…

…the way blood does.

 **Was I stupid to love you?**  
“So are you like, a murderer? Part of a fight club? Vigilante? What the _hell_ , Seiya?! I’ve had enough of your sneaking around!”

So much for being content with the traces. You either want all or none of him, and judging by the tight expression on his heartbreakingly handsome face, it’s going to be none.

“You need to learn to mind your own business,” he attempts to soothe. “It’s for your own good.”

But you refuse to listen. You’ve had enough listening.

“No—I’m leaving. I’m moving out. I can’t do this anymore.”

“[Name]—”

“You don’t have the _right_.” You knocked his hand away from your face, glowering hotly. “You don’t get to… to play me, _use_ me, and then call me by my name. It’s over. Goodbye, Seiya.”

“Wait— _please_. I’m begging you. I need to tell you something.”

Even the pain on his face is gorgeous, the way tears look fluid even carved into marble statues. You bite the tip of your tongue. It is within your means to leave him and never look back, but once again… his sea green eyes trap you in the sand. You let his waves wash over you and eye the gun he gingerly places on the table.

“My name isn’t Seiya.”

 **Was it obvious to everybody else?  
That I'd fallen for a lie  
You were never on my side**  
With his cover blown, he left.

Something about a drug ring. Something about intelligence. You don’t know. You don’t care.

Seiya—well, whatever his name is—is gone.

Did he ever even love you? Or was that just a ploy, too? You hate thinking about it, because all it does is give you grief and tears that you know you’re too old to be shedding. He’s stolen so much from you and given you so little in return. It leaves you yearning and empty, and it leaves you foolish, because despite all that—despite all that you’ve lost—you want him _back_.

 **Fool me once, fool me twice  
Are you death or paradise?  
Now you'll never see me cry**  
“I’ll get two lavender cookies, please.”

Your heart drops straight into your feet and you stare, numbly. He’s slicked his black hair back and sports a tight-fitted suit, the tie dark and slender, lengthening his frame. He looks like he’s stepped off Wall Street. He’s nothing like the dorky glasses-wearing bookkeeper you had known.

“Sei… um…”

“Keiji. Keiji Akaashi.”

You sigh shakily, gripping your hands into fists. “Is that for real this time?”

Unable to do anything but oblige, you turn the sign to CLOSED in the door and sit with him, pouring him the royal milk tea he taught you how to make. You remember the day well; a hazy, easy Sunday morning, you dancing on his feet to neo-age jazz in the cramped kitchen of his cupboard apartment, wearing nothing but his old shirt. For a while there’s nothing but the sound of breathing.

“Why?” is all you have the strength to ask, staring into your cup. He reaches out and with those cool fingertips you ached for, he lifts your chin up to face him.

“It was never supposed to be more than a mission.”

“But?”

“But… you threw a wrench into things.” He chuckled bitterly, withdrawing his touch. Your face drifted forwards as if to follow. “Stubborn girl. You changed everything for me. It wasn’t about doing my job anymore. It was just about being happy.”

“So?” You scowled resentfully, but the tears welling in your eyes told a different story. “You’re a spy and never told me. What good does that do for me?”

“I just needed to tell you before I…” He hesitates, his deep voice husky and quiet. You hear it just fine. _Leave_. “I really did love you, [Name].”

“I loved—no, I _still_ love you. So can’t you just…?” It’s a useless plea and you know it. Once again, he reaches out, his hand hovering over yours. You want him to hold you so badly. You want him to sweep you into his arms, ignoring your laughs as he presses you tight to his chest. You want to see the smile on his face when you bake him something fresh, or when he talks about a book he loves. More Sunday mornings. You just want _him_. It doesn’t matter where he goes at night anymore. You can be alone at night as long as he stays.

But he pulls away and stands up, leaving his tea and cookies untouched.

“No, I can’t. So just forget about me. Okay? Be happy for me.”

There is nobody to brush the tears off your cheeks.

**There's just no time to die.**

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: https://deltachye.tumblr.com/


End file.
